"After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean possession and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrows ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn."

the truth :(

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me...trusting people is overrated..all you do is get hurt over and over..i should have known

Nothing even matters anymore cuz i always let this happen because I let people take advantage of me! i let them treat me like crap! i cant ever say what i should..but im finally realizing what im worth so its no worries!
i really am getting this through my think skull...
i keep hoping it'll stop or keep hoping something will be different but no matter who it is or what it is...i know what im worth..and i know all i deserve is the same crap im getting...

AHH!!! i hate life sometimes..i am so worried about my friend she is going through a rough break up and i honestly dont know what to do to help! she is hurting so bad and to see her hurt makes me hurt! i wish i could take all her pain and she would be ok! then i feel like all the rest of my friends also need me and i just cant split myself in so many directions helping so many people! im sorry but i just dont know what to do anymore! im trying to be a good friend but i feel so overwhelmed!!!


then i talk to the person i loved and still probably do but if anything i still care for him without a doubt and he said some very sweet things last night...we actually talked and it was such a good conversation! i cant even beleive the things he said which was so sweet! it meant a lot like things that i will always remember


why is life so confusing! i wish no one had to hurt and no one had to go through certain things! man i wish i could workl miracles! i just dont know what to do with myself!

im not ready to be an adult so much lies in front of me! and i want freedom yet i dont but i want to learn things and experience things but i feel like i cant at the same time even though my mom said that i will i just feel held back from so much!